*Please note that the following blog contains the topics of depression, suicide, alcohol, and substance abuse. Reader discretion is advised. If you are contemplating suicide please reach out to the Wisconsin Suicide Hotline at 988.

I cried out to God for help; 

I cried out to God to hear me. 

When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; 

at night I stretched out untiring hands 

and I would not be comforted. 

Psalm 77:1-2 

“Please God! Just don’t let me wake up in the morning.” It was my fervent prayer. 

I was 26 years old. I had three children aged five and younger, including a six-month old baby. I was isolated. My family lived 1000 miles away. My pastor husband rarely had time for our marriage because as a United Methodist Minister, church always came first. My in-laws believed, and they told me, if there were any problems in my marriage, they were my fault - after all, Jeff was a minister, and his priority was the church. 

Then I received a telephone call from my mother. “Betsy, I have terrible news! Joe* is dead. He shot and killed himself in your brother’s garage.” 

Joe was my brother’s best friend from college. He had been going through a rough time, and my brother and sister-in-law invited him to stay with them until he got back on his feet. None of us knew the deep turmoil of Joe’s soul. His suicide was a shock and an unshakeable tragedy not only for our family, but especially for his. He was 31 years old. 

As I hung up the phone, I looked at Jeff and in a flat, uncaring voice I said, “Joe is dead. He shot himself.” Without waiting for a response, I turned around, went to my room, and crawled in my bed. 

I was mad. I was angry at Joe. I was not angry because he had killed himself, nor was I angry for the pain his death was causing so many people. I was angry because he had found a way out of his misery, but I continued to suffer in mine. I laid in my bed pleading, “Please God! Just don’t let me wake up in the morning.” But I did. 

Millions and millions of people suffer from depression and/or anxiety. One only needs to turn on the local news to hear stories of the great mental health crises in America. All of us probably know at least one person struggling with depression, anxiety, or a combination of both. Maybe you are struggling yourself. With the cold, cloudy winters of Wisconsin, some people may struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Others suffer chronic depression and/or anxiety. Even born-again Christians are not immune from depression and anxiety. 

However, as disciples of Christ, we often, and mistakenly, believe we should be immune from mental health illnesses. After all, the Holy Spirit lives in us. How could we possibly be depressed or anxious when we have Jesus on our side? We are scared to let anyone know how we are feeling because we do not want others to think we just are not faithful enough. This is a lie straight from the pit of hell. It is a lie I have not once, but many times believed over the years. A mental health issue should be treated no differently than a physical one. Most all of us would not hesitate to seek out medical help if we were physically ill, but the stigma a mental health diagnosis brings is still as prevalent, in some cases, as it was 50 years ago. 

I suffer from several chronic physical ailments, including a cancer modern medicine can treat but will never be able to cure. I do not think twice about reaching out to my doctors regarding any of these conditions, especially my oncologist. 

But I still find it difficult to reach out for my depression and anxiety. I do not want to be on medication. I do not want to talk to anybody else about my feelings. God is enough. But often, God shows us His grace, mercy, and love through others. He has given gifts to professionals who can help diagnose our symptoms and provide us with treatment to help us address our mental health issues. 

The following are some insights I have discovered over the years. Some I have found on my own. Others have come from trusted friends and professional mental health practitioners. 

1. Isolation. Isolation is an enemy to mental health wellness. We only need to look at the Genesis story of creation to know God made us to be in community. “But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man (Gensis 2:20 (part) – 22, NIV)."

In the era of Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and other social media platforms, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing one does not need actual face-to-face contact with other people. This is just another lie of the Enemy. Even as convenient as online church may be, unless one has underlying issues keeping him or her at home, it is best to be in church. It provides us with the opportunity to fellowship with other believers. “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer . . . All the believers were together and had everything in common” (Acts 2:42 and 44). In addition to church, think about participating in a Bible study or meet with a friend for coffee or lunch on a regular basis.  

I spent most of the winter at home because I was constantly ill due to a compromised immune system. The combination of not being able to be with other people and the cold, dreary Wisconsin winter made me more depressed, irritable, and cranky. Finally, having recovered from the various illnesses with which I have been plagued, and with hope I won’t catch any further virus, I returned to church. I am also meeting with friends I have not seen all winter. My mood has improved, I am less cranky and irritable, and I am more hopeful. 

2. Self-Medicating and Harmful Behavior. Refrain from self-medicating. Some of us use substances or participate in unhealthy behaviors to make us feel better. Over consumption of alcohol, the use of illicit drugs, the abuse of prescription drugs, overeating or binge eating, gambling, overuse of social media platforms, and sexual promiscuity are some of the things we may use in attempt to feel better. Unfortunately, once the high of these activities wears off, we often find ourselves feeling more depressed and anxious than we did before we indulged in them. For years, I used alcohol to cope. Most often, after overindulging, not only was I more depressed, I felt guilty for my behavior. This feeling often turned into self-loathing and a belief I had no worth. This is exactly what Satan wants. 

If you find yourself in a situation where you are using substances or participating in questionable or unacceptable behaviors to cope, there is help. Programs such as Celebrate Recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, and Narcotics Anonymous are available in most communities. You can talk to your primary care doctor regarding outpatient and inpatient rehabilitation programs. Take advantage of the James 5 Healing Ministry offered at Alliance Church. You can also call Alliance Church and ask to meet with a pastoral care elder who can not only help direct you to appropriate treatment but will also pray with you. There is no shame in reaching out for help. 

3. Medication.  As Christians, we are sometimes reluctant to take antidepressants or anxiety medication because we believe this shows a lack of faith. Being faithful, obedient, reading God’s word, and praying are essential to building faith, but these disciplines do not necessarily exclude the use of medication. Just as certain medications may be beneficial for combating infection or cancer, psychoactive medications may help reduce or alleviate certain forms of mental or emotional suffering. These medications are not a substitute for God’s healing power and the use of medication should always be prayerfully considered. When appropriate, medications are a gift from God to be received with humility and gratitude.    

4.Professional Counseling. Consider professional Christian counseling. Talking with someone trained in treating depression and anxiety does help. For years I avoided talking with a counselor. I was sure I could handle matters on my own. It was not until I started talking to a counselor that I found a freedom I did not have when trying to cope on my own. 

5.Exercise. As difficult as it is to admit, physical activity can also help to combat depression. No one is saying you need to train for a triathlon, but just taking a walk everyday can make a difference. 

I struggle with this one because I hate to exercise. I hate getting sweaty, and I do not always like the way I feel physically after exercising. But it is as much a benefit to both brain and body as proper nutrition. 

6. Nutrition. Speaking of proper nutrition, eating a well-balanced diet does help. I can tell the difference when I am eating well as opposed to when I am eating a lot of junk food. Substitute the bowl of ice cream for some fruit. 

7. Prayer. Ask a sister-in-Christ or other person you trust to pray for and with you – and be specific. Let her know your struggles. I have many people who pray for me, and I know in my spirit when they are doing it. 

King David cried out to God. He is called the man after God’s own heart, and even he found himself in times of depression and despondency. I started this devotion with Psalm 77:1-2, David’s plea to God to hear him in his distress. Versus 10-15 say: 

Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: 

the years when the Most High stretched out his 

right hand. 

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; 

yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. 

I will consider all your works 

and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” 

Your ways, God, are holy. 

What god is as great as our God? 

You are the God who performs miracles; 

you display your power among the peoples. 

With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, 

the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. 

Even in his distress, David praised God and acknowledged His sovereignty, and we can do the same. When we cry out to God, He hears us. When we praise Him, He hears us. He is with us even when we cannot feel Him. Music puts me in a mindset where I can really focus and just praise God. At the end of this article, I have provided links to some of my favorite songs I listen to when I am feeling especially low. 

That night, alone in my bedroom, I wanted to die. That was 34 years ago. I would like to say it was the only time I felt as if everything would be better if I was gone, but it was not. I have struggled with depression and anxiety all my life. That night, I believed I, and everybody around me, would be better off if I were dead. It was not true then, and it is not true now. It was not true for Joe, and it is not true for you. 

If you are at a place where you feel everything would be better if you just were not here, I am here to tell you it would not be better. You are loved by the Creator of the universe. The God who hung the moon in the sky and told the tide just how far it could come ashore calls you His beloved. You have a family who loves you. At Alliance, you have a church full of people who love you. 

If you are contemplating suicide, please reach out for help. You can call the suicide prevention hotline in Wisconsin at 988, you can call 911, or go to your local emergency room.  

Sisters-in-Christ, if you see one of your fellow sisters struggling, ask her how she is doing. Do not always accept the answer, “I’m fine.” If you see her distress, ask to talk with her for a few minutes. Pray for her. Do not be afraid to ask if she is feeling depressed or anxious. If she says she is thinking of harming herself, do not leave her alone. Help her get help. 

Alliance Church will be offering a 6 - week program on Overcoming Stress, Anxiety and Depression beginning March 24th. You can register for the seminar on the church website. I’ll be there.  

Father God, 

You who created the universe; you who knew me before I was conceived; you who knitted me together in my mother’s womb, pull me to your breast. I cry out to you in my despair. I feel a million miles away from you. But your Word is true despite how I feel. Even in my depression, I know you are a good, good God, and I lift my hands to praise you. Do not allow the Enemy to harm me. Give me the strength to reach out for help. 

In Jesus Might Name, Amen 

Songs of Praise: 

• Praise You in This Storm – Natalie Grant - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SpVy9Tpl3s 
• Thank God I Do – Lauren Daigle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfR6XLXRNy0 
• Fear is a Liar – Zack Williams - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQTnREEtuNk 

*Name has been changed for purposes of privacy. 

Thank you to Pastor Mark Tegtmeier for his insightful contributions to this article.